It’s been a year since I’ve written anything more substantial than an Instagram caption.
Something about the pandemic, the lockdown, and losing several loved ones in the last year put me into a deep writer’s block. But, it’s time to get over it and start putting my thoughts and words out there again, as much for myself as for anyone.
At the end of August 2020, I went to stay with my parents to go to a funeral for my friend’s mom. I ended up staying for more than two weeks to attend several funerals and visitations. I lost count after five. It was a traumatic month and it still hurts thinking about it. Frankly, 2020 sucked and losing people who were always quick to tell me how proud they were of my columns and who were great influences in my faith life left me feeling broken and at a complete loss of words. Hence, the year hiatus from writing with the last thing I wrote being a couple paragraphs about my grandma to include in her obituary.
In the last year, life has changed drastically, and not just from losing so many wonderful people, but also in getting pregnant and bringing my daughter into the world.
In looking at the innocence in her face as I write this during her napping, and listening to her sweet voice she is starting to discover, I find myself, with tears in my eyes, thinking about the world she is going to grow up in. She’s a precious baby and deserves a perfect world, but the world she was born into and the world we are living in is a scary place.
But, I recently saw a Facebook post stating that God created each of us to be in this moment of eternity for a reason. We are here because God needs us here, now, in this world. The post ends with,
“Don’t be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose you to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime. Rise up to the challenge.”
Alex Cravens
#CarryTheLight
In thinking about that in conjunction with remembering those I lost in the last year and how they lived their lives, I finally found the words I’ve been searching for a year.
The last year did suck, but so much good comes even in those tough times. The world is a scary place with so much evil and darkness, but our God is so good, all the time, and He can bring the light out of any darkness. The troubles facing our world are overwhelming, but we are called to focus on our family first to change the world.
At one of the funerals I attended last year, I took notes from what her daughter said about the life she lived: you should never walk past a cobweb at your house because the next time you remember about it will be when company is over; always keep a dessert in the freezer because you never know when someone is going to stop by; always keep a sink of dishwater to clean as you go; and you are NEVER too old to play games with kids. It was a simple message, but it made an impression and truly embodied what this woman lived.
When I was a college freshman, I wanted to make an impact in the world with my writing. I wanted to be the journalist who exposed something big, who made a difference in the wide world with my words. By the time I was a senior in college, I realized I only needed to make an impact in the immediate world around me to impact the wider world. Starting with those directly around you will affect the world in whole. Doing the tasks right in front of you and being present in the moment with the people around you impacts the world in whole.
This is what my grandma did. This is what Evelyn Gorecki did. This is what Frances Mrkvicka did. This is what Cheryl Dedrickson did. And this is what I hope to do.
In thinking back to my interactions with these ladies, I realized they never talked about world affairs. They simply asked about family, life, faith and about me. They welcomed me, they prayed with and for me, they cared about me and they focused on what was happening right in front of them. They were involved in their communities, they volunteered and they took action in what they could do directly to help.
And, they prayed, and prayed hard.
Never did these ladies give me the impression that they were worried about the outside world, but rather, they gave it to God and didn’t get bogged down. They kept the cobwebs cleaned from their homes. They kept dessert ready for anyone who stopped by. They handled business in front of them. They played with the games.
This is what I want to do with my life. I no longer want to stress about world events. I want to focus on my family, on my friends, on those in my immediate vicinity. I want to change the world by doing this.
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